Ham has butterfingers!

Dear Street Sleepers

Today I have discovered I quite like the taste of butter, while my human was engrossed with soup and TV I managed to sneak up and steal a huge piece of bread from her hand. She didn't seem impressed and later found where I stashed the remains that had no butter. I did try to keep it by taking it back when she picked it up, but she snatched it right back even going out of her way to call me a fat little thief! … sometimes I feel fat...My tail sometimes is heavy to carry about and my belly wobbles when I hop about.

I think I have mastered one of the things the lady was showing me, it's to spin in a circle before getting a chunk of ham. I do it without needing guidance anymore, I feel like I've achieved something big....Like maybe one day I might be able to go to space in a funny rat suit.

Me and Ed have been talking, since discovering his secret he has let me in on some information about the Vermillion plan, mostly because I never really understood in the first place. Apparently they wish to recreate a Rat God and take over the world by force and violence, the thought of it makes my tail twitch in fear. I tried convincing him that he was on the wrong team, and before choosing his side he should at least try understand the humans. I had to haggle him with carrots and peas to do so, but he is at least true to his word and is now 'pretending' to like humans, and is 'chattering in distaste, not bruxing' at their touch. I'm sure his mind is as fragile as his size. I still hear him at funny hours talking to himself and ommming almost obsessively, and not even to any food!
I wish I could stay out my cage longer, I really do like that jumper....I wonder if I could haggle my lady for it....I wonder if she likes ham as much as I do...

Time to scatter, the lady wants another game of Poop Protector!